I get to take a Vacation

I get to leave for a little while. And I am incredibly excited. I love Birmingham, but lately I have kind of felt like my days were running together. Everything was the same. I love the people, I love the city, I love my job. But I need to leave and know why I want to come back.

I am leaving On June 20th to head to Atlanta. From there, I am leaving with the church youth group to go on a Mission Trip to Spencer, Tennessee. We are going to do all sorts of service projects around that town. I will get back on June 30th. Words cannot tell you how motivated and enthralled I am.

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I am giving up my car completely. Besides the fact that it emits awful pollution in to the air, I just spent $60 on gas. I cannot do this. I cannot afford to drive. It is just sad.

content

I haven't written in a long time. I think i find myself needing to write when I am upset. But lately, I have been very happy. There are times when i find myself kind of sad and alone, but that is rare, and who doesn't feel that way. I have come to terms with relationships and experiences and my faith. In fact, I think I have grown a lot.

In news...
Nykki and Jonathan got married. It was such a pretty wedding. I am super happy for them. I really like weddings, but they always make me just want to get married. I think I don't until I see the happiness that exists between two people. I see how God has molded two people as individuals and then brought them together. It was such a delight.
The pre-events were a lot of fun too. Lingerie shower. Rehearsal. Dinner. Night before. I am just super happy for them.

My Birthday is coming up. It is on Saturday. I don't know how excited I am. I have never really had an amazing birthday. And I think I am at that age where awesome birthdays don't happen anymore. Last year I had dinner with friends, but a lot of people were not there. Then there was a surprise party that wasn't really a surprise. And I kind of felt silly last year. It seemed like more people were excited about Lee than anything else. We ended up playing the iPod game. On top of that, my grandmother was really sick. This year, I think I am going to play it all nonchalant. Although, in the back of my head, I kind of just want to walk in to a room somewhere and there be a whole lot of people wishing me happy birthday.

My Parents are coming tomorrow. This... I am truly excited about! I love my parents. They get me. When I look at my parents, I see myself. I see how much they have molded me. My parents have taught me so much about who I am. I know I say this a lot, but I just keep noticing it. The way my parents taught me to be independent. The way they taught me to think for myself. My love of literature. My love for theater, and movies, and art. The way I don't throw anything away. The way I am kind of anal about my wallet.

My other thoughts... I have a few hopes and dreams. I really want to fly somewhere. In fact, I am off saturday, sunday and monday, and a part of me just wants to hop on a plane and go somewhere. There is a $400 nonstop flight to chicago. it leaves saturday and gets back monday morning. who is down? Or maybe a sweet road trip. I may just drive and peace out. i just want a vacation. I like being off of work. But I want to get out and have a break. Not just a break from work. I don't know. I need a few rejuvenation days. Or just an awesome weekend. Full of ridiculously fun stuff. Maybe I will go get a tattoo. I kind of want this tree on my back with a verse from 1 John in it. Doubtful.

Grounded in...

I pinky promise this blog is not directed towards anyone, even though several of you are going to feel that I am talking about you.

I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues lately. I talked to my parents about it a lot today. What I realized was that it isn't the fact that people talk behind my back that bothers me. As someone mentioned before, a lot of people do it. I think it is the fact that for a year or so, I have felt judged. Judged by my friends. By friends that act like my friend to my face. Some of them take words that define me and use them in a negative connotation to tear me down. That is what is offensive.
For the past year or so, I have seen people that "love me" and "love other people" tell me that they don't accept some things about me. That hurts. But rather than just letting it go, I find out from other people. This is what hurts. This is what tears me away from Christianity. It has taken me a while to realize all of this. Until I stopped to think, "I am not a fundamentalist Christian." That is where we differ. While our views on who wrote the Bible, the fact that the Bible stays the same but society changes, woman in the church, and homosexuality may be different from each other, one thing should be grounded. LOVE.
Christianity was about love. That is all. We are called to love people. We are called to accept people. We are called to serve and help people. Everything else can move. But the Bible will no longer be a tool of helpfulness if it is being used to condemn and hate. Off my high horse.

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I am about to start volunteering at the Birmingham Crisis Center. I have felt this strong calling to do so. I am really excited about this. I think a lot of people in society feel a sense of lonesomeness and I really want to show them they aren't alone. I hope everything works out for the best.

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I dont have much else to say, except that I should probably sleep. I have to work in the morning.

New glasses!

I got my new glasses today. I look like a doof in this picture, but thats ok. I really like them. I cannot take very good pictures of myself. haha. The more I look at this picture, the more i detest it. I love these glasses though. i don't think I realized how much I couldn't see. My prescription has changed a lot. You forget, even only after a few days, what you used to be able to see. Trees look so nice now.

Friday is totally free today!
I am going to see a dollar movie tonight. One of my favorite activities. I plan on smuggling lots of candy in. One of my OTHER favorite activities. hee hee.

I found out someone was talking about me, my political views, and my general relationships with people in a sort of negative way. It was slightly alarming.

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Dog Park.

I haven't posted these yet.
Just thought I would throw a couple out there.

I am going to make some small wallet type thing for my Starbucks Passport and green apron cards. I need to design it though. I am really excited though. I think it is gonna be super cute. i will post pictures when I am finished.
I want to ramble on and on about some things about work. A part of me just needs someone to listen. I dont want advice. I just want to complain. haha.

My creative juices have been brewing lately. I think it may be a mixture of the Spring air and just bottled up energy. I havent had any form of a creative outlet. I am about to start planting vegetables. We have lettuce, squash, zucchini, carrots, bell peppers, tomatoes, green beans, broccoli, and some herbs. I am so excited. I am about to start turning the ground behind the fence behind the house. I think it will be a great place for a little vegetable garden. I am really excited.

I also have a lot of energy to paint. I have been wanting to make this collaged face. I also really want to finish the face on my wall. It has no continuity. My next off day, which at this point seems slightly non existent, will consist of these things. I need some alone time. Only, unlike last Sunday, I want it to be productive. Last Sunday, I watched several lifetime movies, cried, and ate junk food. It was lovely. But now I need a different form of therapy.

Thats all for now.
I will leave you with this...

Clouds in my coffee

I got new glasses. My others broke this morning. This picture is kind of small, but they are red and fade to a violet. I like them a lot.
http://www.laeyeworks.com/catalogFrames/frame.php?m=PERCY&c=METAL
It was pretty tragic. Joon had chewed on them before. Last Friday, I called Schaefer and set up an appointment for Thursday. I called today to see if they could bump that up at all. So I went in today to get tested and get new glasses. I had to live blind for about a week. yaaaay.



There is also a shooting pain in my back. I like to think it has something to do with the pain in Marty's back. Sympathy pains maybe. Who knows.
So with that, stress, glasses and other things, I had an awful hour this morning.
But my mom came in to town. Marty, Andrew and I hung out. We shopped, ate ice cream, and went to dinner. Then mom and I went to see Spamalot. HILARIOUS. I have not laughed that much in ages.


On other notes, I saw "For the Bible Tells Me So" not long ago. It was a phenomenal film. I wish everyone would see it. It made me laugh and it made me cry. To think there are people so cold hearted like this. I would rather not get in to the debate, but I will say this. We are called to love people. And for us to hate each other for things like this - wrong. I talked to both of my parents about the matter. I told my mom that I know she would love me unconditionally no matter what. I asked her, "How could a parent just STOP Loving their child?" She seemed baffled as well. Watch the trailer for the movie. It is slightly alarming. While I find myself fairly well educated on the fact, I found myself being so much MORE educated. I am not going to preach. I really just want people to watch this movie.

http://www.forthebibletellsmeso.org/index2.htm



"There's nothing wrong with a fifth grade understanding of God... if you're in fifth grade."

"Fear does terrible things to a society."

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Alabama Power Update.

I got a letter from Alabama Power yesterday.
Things have been resolved.
From April 2005 to March 2008, I have been paying the bill for the downstairs apartment. That has totaled $5223.66
I should been paying $3083.76

Alabama Power is cutting me a check for $2139.76

I am smiling pretty big right now.

I think I am most excited because it means that my power bill is less than normal. AND... it means my conservation efforts are working.

In other news, I have been sitting on the couch watching movies most of the day. Someone like you, In Her Shoes, Mr. Hollands Opus. I have no shame. I have needed this. Joon and Max and I are just hanging out. I am quite content.