May you live all the days of your life.

Sharks got bills too. @starbucks

2010-05-28T14:45:00.001-05:00

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Sharks got bills too. @starbucks

2010-05-28T14:25:00.001-05:00

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Faraday and crazy Claire. @lostpedia

2010-05-24T15:08:00.001-05:00

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Faraday and crazy Claire. @lostpedia

2010-05-24T15:06:00.003-05:00

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Daniel Faraday. Or is it me? @lostpedia

2010-05-24T15:06:00.001-05:00

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Joon really likes the vet.

2010-05-24T14:36:00.001-05:00

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Joon really likes the vet.

2010-05-24T14:35:00.001-05:00

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Jenny and her @starbucks humor. Pretending to be customer.

2010-05-24T13:44:00.001-05:00

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@sksturner I look like this until @Joshua_Moody buys the right shirt.

2010-05-23T19:45:00.001-05:00

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Came home & my dog was sitting on the front porch w/ heat exhaustion, and limping.

2010-05-23T16:36:00.001-05:00

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I'll be dressing as Daniel faraday!

2010-05-23T12:17:00.001-05:00

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Smokemonster? In southside?

2010-05-22T20:14:00.001-05:00

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Mummy dog

2009-10-21T22:35:00.001-05:00

Halloween costume?

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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Josh loves buffets

2009-09-17T20:16:00.001-05:00

I don't know if you know this, but Josh reallly loves a good buffet. We stopped at KFC so he could stock up on chicken and I could rack up on the veggies.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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Ticklish.

2009-09-17T17:23:00.001-05:00

Josh tickled me in the car a lot. Turns out he knows how to make me get the giggles.

"stop it. I have the giggles." http://post.ly/5SP7

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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So far…

2009-09-14T22:32:00.001-05:00

Minus the fact that we took a few detours. This is what our trip has looked like. Now it's time to head back east.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Grand Canyon

2009-09-14T18:46:00.001-05:00

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Arizona and New Mexico

2009-09-14T10:00:00.001-05:00

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Good morning

2009-09-14T09:34:00.001-05:00

Arizona meets new Mexico. We got to the four corners last night only to discover you cannot access it at night. We slept in shiprock, new Mexico. Now, we are headed back to the four corners. Then, it's on to the grand canyon. I wish you could have seem the stars last night. The sky was flooded with them. It's amazing how much we miss living in a city.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Still Colorado.

2009-09-13T16:10:00.001-05:00

Small Hwy roads all the way to the four corners. It is remarkable.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Audio blog pt 2

2009-09-13T09:44:00.001-05:00

Here's the other half. And currently, we are lost. But don't tell Josh I told you. Wait, he says we found It now. Woooooo.

Download now or listen on posterous

Memo.m4a (858 KB)

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Audio blog pt 1

2009-09-13T09:41:00.001-05:00

It's too long, apparently. So I I cut it in half. Enjoy. Sorry we are kind of dorky.

Download now or listen on posterous

Memo.m4a (852 KB)

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Modern traveler

2009-09-12T18:32:00.001-05:00

This is how we travel in the modern age.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Colorado

2009-09-12T13:55:00.001-05:00

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Day three

2009-09-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

Well, day three has started. We got a late start today. Josh and I were apparently quite tired last night. We stopped in russel, Kansas somewhere around 10 last night to sleep at a days inn... In the parking lot. We didn't wake up until around 10 this morning. Now, we travel down I-70 en route toward Colorado. We should arrive there sometime close to 3pm.
Yesterday, we had a blast. We took a back road through Missouri to see a bit more scenic route. It was gorgeous. But you can only see so many plains and wildflowers before it starts getting a little redundant. So when we had an opportunity, we got back on the interstate.
We stopped in Kansas city yesterday afternoon for a late lunch. We Indulged in some mexican food and wandered the streets before deciding that, although clean, Kansas city is a bit boring. We hit the road again, and headed toward russel.
Colorado is sure to bring us happiness. We are both excited about traveling the back roads and seeing the mountains. It's amazing, especially growing up and living in a major city, to see undeveloped land and an actual sky line. Perhaps later, we will read "into the wild" remembering that happiness is best when shared.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Kansas to Denver

2009-09-11T20:00:00.001-05:00

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Saint Louis

2009-09-11T08:36:00.001-05:00

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Saint Louis

2009-09-11T08:23:00.001-05:00

It's a grea day for The Arch. Weather is so pretty. Last night, we started out in a walgreens until it got a little creepy. So after wandering in the car for a while, ending up back on the interstate, and outside Saint Louis, we slept at a Quality Inn... In the parking lot. I think Josh was a little nervous. I fell fast asleep. Today, we are heading further west toward Denver. We should arrive there late this evening.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Untitled

2009-09-10T19:08:00.001-05:00

In Nashville. We are stopping for Dinner. Kind of wondering where to go, but we think we will Know it when we find it. I'm getting hungry. American food? Where are you? Stopping to sleep in saint louis. Probably around midnight.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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En route

2009-09-05T09:31:00.001-05:00

We are on our way to a wedding. Josh is doing the photography. I'll be doing a little. Excited. What a beautiful off day this is.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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Sips n strokes

2009-08-29T19:09:00.001-05:00

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The sky

2009-08-28T19:40:00.001-05:00

The sky looks spectacular.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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Josh is weird.

2009-08-28T14:45:00.001-05:00

From: Jessica Drewien <jdrewdesign@gmail.com>
Date: August 28, 2009 14:33:52 CDT
To: Posterous <post@jdrewien.posterous.com>
Subject: Josh is weird.

But so am I. We just discussed how we like to sort out our m&ms and eat the fewest of one color first.

<photo.jpg>

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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Josh is weird.

2009-08-28T14:36:00.001-05:00

But so am I. We just discussed how we like to sort out our m&ms and eat the fewest of one color first.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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I can only Imagine...

2009-08-27T15:07:00.001-05:00

How awesome this would be. To work with a self emplyed juggler.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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WHERE

2009-08-27T10:34:00.001-05:00

Where? is my new favorite application. Josh and I downloaded it last night. It uses your location to find you the closest starbucks, traffic updates, movies, events, cheapest gas prices, local restaurants, weather, and a lot more. It's great for the local area. But I'm excited for our road trip. We won't have to eat at chain places. And we will know all the great things going on around us. This gets me even more excited. Now if I can get my car fixed...

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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My Adventures

2009-08-26T21:52:00.001-05:00

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It's a good day for red glasses

2009-08-26T08:54:00.001-05:00

On my way to the district meeting. I'm running a little behind, but I still plan on stopping for coffee. Starbucks district meeting without coffee? Ha. No.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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22:00

2009-08-24T22:03:00.001-05:00

We tried to record. We will see if this works. I hope it does. If so, Josh and I can keep you vocally informed from the road!

Download now or listen on posterous

Memo.m4a (165 KB)

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company

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Monday

2009-08-24T17:58:00.001-05:00

I rather enjoy monday afternoons. I got a great deal accomplished today. So I'll reward myself with some quality time with Kurt Vonnegut. I may even Indulge in some cheese and crackers. Tomorrow, I need to prepare for my road trip. Until then, I'll enjoy the weather and my pleasant attitude.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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i-Bum | KithKin Presents

2009-08-21T15:17:00.001-05:00

via kith-kin.co.uk

“The arse is the window of the soul.”

i-Bum is the chair which creates embarrassments for its audience. Once a person sits on the chair, automatically the chair scans their bottom and prints out the image.

What could be the possible market for this? I know I wouldn't put it in my own home!!!

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They won't admit it

2009-08-15T15:27:00.001-05:00

My animals love each other. It's rare that they will let you snap a picture of this, but today I caught them giving each other little kisses. It's love.

Jessica Drewien
Starbucks Coffee Company
205.616.8505

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SNAIL ANATOMY by ~funnydoodle on deviantART

2009-08-15T15:15:00.001-05:00

via funnydoodle.deviantart.com

This is exactly why I am in LOVE with 3D design. This is a sculpture of a snail! I wish I had this sort of talent.

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Will Barras

2009-08-14T12:45:00.001-05:00

via willbarras.com

He has a phenomenal use of color. I absolutely adore all of his stuff.

Posted via web from Urban Adventures

2008-08-04T21:38:00.003-05:00

I have two new blogs that you should check out.

one is just a photo blog. pictures. art. whatever. I think it will be a lot of fun.

The other is one that I have wanted to do for a while. On there, I have been doing a few critiques of movies, books, art, film. You will enjoy that as well!

So check them out!

what I've been looking at these days

2008-07-14T15:39:00.002-05:00

I have been surfing around lately. Found some pretty awesome things. Like the reinvented TV dinner bowl.

Not to mention all of the stuff on This Site. The designer takes pieces of wood and just "knows" what they should be. the desk is amazing and so is the entertainment center. WOW!

And of course... forever ago I wanted to attace a knife to the spork idea. the all in one. Hello... it would be an amazing idea. Someone jumped on that idea before I ever did...

Plus... this ridiculously awesome responsive sculpture.

The Cloud - from mitmobileexperiencelab on Vimeo.

go to http://www.thecloud.ws and it will tell you all about it. I would love to travel to Florence and see it.

And finally... this song and music video. Actually LISTEN to the words. They are so amazing

The lyrics are here...

 Hey There, how, how’s it going?  Long time no see.  I know I haven’t been around much lately   But…it didn’t seem like you wanted me to be  The last time I sent down a message you nailed it to the cross  So I figured I’d just leave you to it, let you be your own boss   But I’ve been keeping an eye on you, I have, and it’s amazing how you’ve grown.  With your technological advances and the problems you’ve overthrown,  And all the beautiful art you’ve created with such grace and such finesse,  But I admit there are a few things I’m afraid have impressed me less.   So I’m writing to apologize for all the horrors committed in my name,  Although that was never what I intended, I feel I should take my share of the blame.  All the good I tried to do was corrupted when all the religion got into full swing,  What I thought were quite clear messages were taken to unusual extremes.  My teachings taken out of context to meet the agendas of others,  Interpretations taken to many different ways and hidden meanings discovered   Religion became a tool, for the weak to control the strong  With all these new morals and ethics, survival of the fittest was gone  No longer could the biggest man simply take whatever he needed  ‘cause damnation was the price if certain rules were not heeded   Some of the deeds committed in my name just made me wonder were I went wrong.  Back at the start when I created this, the foundation seemed so strong.  See all the elements were already here, long before I began, I just kind of put it all together  I didn’t really think out a long-term plan.   I made the sun an appropriate distance and laid the stars across the sky  So you could navigate the globe or simply watch the sun rise  I covered the earth with plants and fruits,   Some for sustenance and some for beauty  I made the sun shine and the clouds rain so their maintenance wasn’t your duty  I tried to give each creature its own attributes without making them enveloped  I gave you all you all your own space to grow and in your own way space to develop   I didn’t know such development would cause rifts and jealousy  Cause you to war against each other and leave marks on this planet indelibly   You see, I wasn’t really the creater, I was just the curator of nature  I want to get something straight with homosexuals right now: I don’t hate ya  I was a simple being that happened to be the first to wield such powers  I just laid the ground, it was You that built the towers    It was You that invented bombs, and the fear that comes with them  And it was You that invented money, and the corrupt economic systems  You invented terms like just-war and terms like friendly fire  And it was You that didn’t know when to stop digging deeper, when to stop building higher  It was You that exhausted the resources I carefully laid out on this earth,  And it was You that even saw these problems coming but accredited them little worth  It was You that used my teachings for your own personal gain  And it was You that committed such tragedies, even though they were in my name   So I apologize for any mistakes I made, and when my words misconstrued  But this apology’s to mother nature, cause I created you

Ok... Guess that is about it

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2008-06-15T10:54:00.002-05:00

Currently...
I am watching Powder. An amazing movie. It didnt get very good reviews when it first came out. Not sure why, cause any movie with Sean Patrick Flanery and Jeff Goldblum is pure genious. Besides the fact that Jeremy has an outrageously high IQ, he has reached a level of humanity that is unbelievable. He hears peoples thoughts, and memories, and fears. He sees the fear and pure evil that exists among our society. There are only about three people who see him as a person. Everyone else seems to see him as a freak.
I'm not quite sure why I love this movie. The music is phenomenal. Jerry Goldsmith is phenomenal. His music is great. And i think if you just listened to the music, you could feel half of the emotions that happen. The music alone moves me to tears. But I think a lot of that is the pure and raw emotion that flows through my veins.
If any of you know me very well, you may know that I have struggled with the existence of a greater humankind. The idea that any human can make you feel the hatred among us is remarkable to me. I don't know. I will leave this rant with a final thought... or quote... from Jeff Goldblum.

Donald Ripley: It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity.
Powder: Albert Einstein.
Donald Ripley: When I look at you, I have hope that maybe one day our humanity will surpass our technology.

Heat wave

2008-06-10T09:49:00.004-05:00

"If I blogged a lot," I told David, "I would totally write about the last thirty minutes." So i did.

David sent me on an expedition after work. Starbucks has these little coupons that entitle you to a free cold drink of any sort.So I set out to deliver them to the people and businesses around our store. I headed to Compass bank first. That is who we bank with, so i figured I would be nice and give the tellers a little present. After that, I decided to go to Goodyear. It is only a block away and they are really nice guys. Plus, mechanics LOVE frappuccinos.
I walked in and the bell on the door startled me. I was in there last Friday, so i should have remembered, but it still took me off guard. I thought no one was in there until a man popped up from the computer. I explained that I work at the Starbucks right over here. We know how hot it is, and we just wanted to give you guys a way to take a cool break. He just looked at me. I explained it a little more then just said thanks and have a good day.
When I walked out, I just turned to the right. I didn't want to be one of those people that looks like they obviously have no idea where they are going. I decided I would just go with it. So I passed a few more out. Then, I was off to Makarios. As I headed that way, I walked by the 2020 building. We used to park there at night, so I wanted to kind of introduce myself.
When I walked up, I got a little nervous. The doors have a very thick reflection on them. I could see myself clearly, and as I approached the door I imagined 15 people on the other side watching me attempt to open a locked door. Luckily, it was unlocked. However, when I walked in, I didnt see anyone. There was a little bell on a counter with a note that said, "Ring for help. Thx Management." Who abbreviates "thanks" but not "management" is beyond me. So I "Dinged" it. It echoed across the glass that it sat next to and all the way through the office. I could hear a man talking, and after a minute or so, he popped his head out of another room.
He just stood there. He never asked me what I wanted. He never said "hello." He just stood there. It was so strange. His mouth hung open and his head leaned forward as if he was about to eat me. He had a sort of pouncing preparation stance. I explained the coupons to him the same way I did to the man at Goodyear. "Yuuh Huuuh," he said with awful smile. I am almost sure the look in my eyes screamed confusion and judgment. I went on to explain that between 4 and 6 this week and next week, we are having a "chill break" with samples of drinks and pastries and just a lot of fun. He said, "so these," holding up the paper i just gave him, "are coupons and these aren't?" I said, "Yeah these are kind of a little reminder slash invitation."
Then the weirdest thing happened. He started to smile and shake his head in agreement with me. I think he started to smile. I couldn't tell because I more focussed on the fact that his bottom lip was being sucked inside his mouth. The more he smiled, the more his head leaned forward, and the more his lip went INTO his mouth. I was afraid he was going to choke on it. I didn't want to be the one to call 9-1-1, so i said 'THX" and got out of there.
I wasn't sure how to process what had happened so I walked quickly to Makarios. I stopped walking so fast when I realized that it was 90 degrees and there was no breeze. The walk up the hill was awful. i walked in the restaurant though, and they were very appreciative. I headed to regions and they loved them. Up until then, I thought I was doing the explaining poorly.
As I walked down 20th, i decided to turn right. I had to avoid the construction in the street, and I also decided to check out that cat vet place behind our parking lot. So I walked over there.
I walked in and they kind of just looked at me. I was super nice. Totally on my A-game. I handed them a few cards and told them to come down there. They said thanks and then I made a boo-boo. There was a beautiful long-haired grey cat sitting on the counter. "You are a pretty cat," I said as I went to turn around. The voice coming from the floor chimed in telling me, "you can adopt him." I said, "oh no, my cat would hate me." She urged me and said, "Your cat will get used to it." I laughed with the fake laugh I make every effort not to use and said, "my cat hasn't really gotten used to the dog I got... in February. But if someone mentions, 'gosh i wish i had a cat.' I will send them over here."
I headed out the door with the upper hand and walked back to our store. i took out my phone and looked at the time. It had only been thirty minutes. I had encountered so many crazies in that short amount of time. I walked back in to our store and david convinced me to write about it. I really think the heat may be melting our brains. Cause when I got back to my car, the Starbucks cold cup I had left in there had shrunk. A lot.

I get to take a Vacation

2008-05-23T10:37:00.002-05:00

I get to leave for a little while. And I am incredibly excited. I love Birmingham, but lately I have kind of felt like my days were running together. Everything was the same. I love the people, I love the city, I love my job. But I need to leave and know why I want to come back.

I am leaving On June 20th to head to Atlanta. From there, I am leaving with the church youth group to go on a Mission Trip to Spencer, Tennessee. We are going to do all sorts of service projects around that town. I will get back on June 30th. Words cannot tell you how motivated and enthralled I am.

_______________________________

I am giving up my car completely. Besides the fact that it emits awful pollution in to the air, I just spent $60 on gas. I cannot do this. I cannot afford to drive. It is just sad.

content

2008-05-14T21:27:00.002-05:00

I haven't written in a long time. I think i find myself needing to write when I am upset. But lately, I have been very happy. There are times when i find myself kind of sad and alone, but that is rare, and who doesn't feel that way. I have come to terms with relationships and experiences and my faith. In fact, I think I have grown a lot.

In news...
Nykki and Jonathan got married. It was such a pretty wedding. I am super happy for them. I really like weddings, but they always make me just want to get married. I think I don't until I see the happiness that exists between two people. I see how God has molded two people as individuals and then brought them together. It was such a delight.
The pre-events were a lot of fun too. Lingerie shower. Rehearsal. Dinner. Night before. I am just super happy for them.

My Birthday is coming up. It is on Saturday. I don't know how excited I am. I have never really had an amazing birthday. And I think I am at that age where awesome birthdays don't happen anymore. Last year I had dinner with friends, but a lot of people were not there. Then there was a surprise party that wasn't really a surprise. And I kind of felt silly last year. It seemed like more people were excited about Lee than anything else. We ended up playing the iPod game. On top of that, my grandmother was really sick. This year, I think I am going to play it all nonchalant. Although, in the back of my head, I kind of just want to walk in to a room somewhere and there be a whole lot of people wishing me happy birthday.

My Parents are coming tomorrow. This... I am truly excited about! I love my parents. They get me. When I look at my parents, I see myself. I see how much they have molded me. My parents have taught me so much about who I am. I know I say this a lot, but I just keep noticing it. The way my parents taught me to be independent. The way they taught me to think for myself. My love of literature. My love for theater, and movies, and art. The way I don't throw anything away. The way I am kind of anal about my wallet.

My other thoughts... I have a few hopes and dreams. I really want to fly somewhere. In fact, I am off saturday, sunday and monday, and a part of me just wants to hop on a plane and go somewhere. There is a $400 nonstop flight to chicago. it leaves saturday and gets back monday morning. who is down? Or maybe a sweet road trip. I may just drive and peace out. i just want a vacation. I like being off of work. But I want to get out and have a break. Not just a break from work. I don't know. I need a few rejuvenation days. Or just an awesome weekend. Full of ridiculously fun stuff. Maybe I will go get a tattoo. I kind of want this tree on my back with a verse from 1 John in it. Doubtful.

Grounded in...

2008-04-13T23:09:00.002-05:00

I pinky promise this blog is not directed towards anyone, even though several of you are going to feel that I am talking about you.

I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues lately. I talked to my parents about it a lot today. What I realized was that it isn't the fact that people talk behind my back that bothers me. As someone mentioned before, a lot of people do it. I think it is the fact that for a year or so, I have felt judged. Judged by my friends. By friends that act like my friend to my face. Some of them take words that define me and use them in a negative connotation to tear me down. That is what is offensive.
For the past year or so, I have seen people that "love me" and "love other people" tell me that they don't accept some things about me. That hurts. But rather than just letting it go, I find out from other people. This is what hurts. This is what tears me away from Christianity. It has taken me a while to realize all of this. Until I stopped to think, "I am not a fundamentalist Christian." That is where we differ. While our views on who wrote the Bible, the fact that the Bible stays the same but society changes, woman in the church, and homosexuality may be different from each other, one thing should be grounded. LOVE.
Christianity was about love. That is all. We are called to love people. We are called to accept people. We are called to serve and help people. Everything else can move. But the Bible will no longer be a tool of helpfulness if it is being used to condemn and hate. Off my high horse.

______________________________

I am about to start volunteering at the Birmingham Crisis Center. I have felt this strong calling to do so. I am really excited about this. I think a lot of people in society feel a sense of lonesomeness and I really want to show them they aren't alone. I hope everything works out for the best.

______________________________

I dont have much else to say, except that I should probably sleep. I have to work in the morning.

New glasses!

2008-04-04T14:31:00.007-05:00

I got my new glasses today. I look like a doof in this picture, but thats ok. I really like them. I cannot take very good pictures of myself. haha. The more I look at this picture, the more i detest it. I love these glasses though. i don't think I realized how much I couldn't see. My prescription has changed a lot. You forget, even only after a few days, what you used to be able to see. Trees look so nice now.

Friday is totally free today!
I am going to see a dollar movie tonight. One of my favorite activities. I plan on smuggling lots of candy in. One of my OTHER favorite activities. hee hee.

I found out someone was talking about me, my political views, and my general relationships with people in a sort of negative way. It was slightly alarming.

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Dog Park.

2008-04-02T17:59:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted these yet.
Just thought I would throw a couple out there.

I am going to make some small wallet type thing for my Starbucks Passport and green apron cards. I need to design it though. I am really excited though. I think it is gonna be super cute. i will post pictures when I am finished.
I want to ramble on and on about some things about work. A part of me just needs someone to listen. I dont want advice. I just want to complain. haha.

My creative juices have been brewing lately. I think it may be a mixture of the Spring air and just bottled up energy. I havent had any form of a creative outlet. I am about to start planting vegetables. We have lettuce, squash, zucchini, carrots, bell peppers, tomatoes, green beans, broccoli, and some herbs. I am so excited. I am about to start turning the ground behind the fence behind the house. I think it will be a great place for a little vegetable garden. I am really excited.

I also have a lot of energy to paint. I have been wanting to make this collaged face. I also really want to finish the face on my wall. It has no continuity. My next off day, which at this point seems slightly non existent, will consist of these things. I need some alone time. Only, unlike last Sunday, I want it to be productive. Last Sunday, I watched several lifetime movies, cried, and ate junk food. It was lovely. But now I need a different form of therapy.

Thats all for now.
I will leave you with this...

Clouds in my coffee

2008-04-01T23:26:00.002-05:00

I got new glasses. My others broke this morning. This picture is kind of small, but they are red and fade to a violet. I like them a lot.
http://www.laeyeworks.com/catalogFrames/frame.php?m=PERCY&c=METAL
It was pretty tragic. Joon had chewed on them before. Last Friday, I called Schaefer and set up an appointment for Thursday. I called today to see if they could bump that up at all. So I went in today to get tested and get new glasses. I had to live blind for about a week. yaaaay.

There is also a shooting pain in my back. I like to think it has something to do with the pain in Marty's back. Sympathy pains maybe. Who knows.
So with that, stress, glasses and other things, I had an awful hour this morning.
But my mom came in to town. Marty, Andrew and I hung out. We shopped, ate ice cream, and went to dinner. Then mom and I went to see Spamalot. HILARIOUS. I have not laughed that much in ages.

On other notes, I saw "For the Bible Tells Me So" not long ago. It was a phenomenal film. I wish everyone would see it. It made me laugh and it made me cry. To think there are people so cold hearted like this. I would rather not get in to the debate, but I will say this. We are called to love people. And for us to hate each other for things like this - wrong. I talked to both of my parents about the matter. I told my mom that I know she would love me unconditionally no matter what. I asked her, "How could a parent just STOP Loving their child?" She seemed baffled as well. Watch the trailer for the movie. It is slightly alarming. While I find myself fairly well educated on the fact, I found myself being so much MORE educated. I am not going to preach. I really just want people to watch this movie.

http://www.forthebibletellsmeso.org/index2.htm

"There's nothing wrong with a fifth grade understanding of God... if you're in fifth grade."

"Fear does terrible things to a society."

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Alabama Power Update.

2008-03-30T14:45:00.003-05:00

I got a letter from Alabama Power yesterday.
Things have been resolved.
From April 2005 to March 2008, I have been paying the bill for the downstairs apartment. That has totaled $5223.66
I should been paying $3083.76

Alabama Power is cutting me a check for $2139.76

I am smiling pretty big right now.

I think I am most excited because it means that my power bill is less than normal. AND... it means my conservation efforts are working.

In other news, I have been sitting on the couch watching movies most of the day. Someone like you, In Her Shoes, Mr. Hollands Opus. I have no shame. I have needed this. Joon and Max and I are just hanging out. I am quite content.

Today is a new day!

2008-03-18T11:36:00.002-05:00

I had an awful day yesterday. Seriously. On top of working yesterday from 7am to 10:30 pm, (minus a brief 11-1 period) yesterday was just kind of miserable. I felt like some people treated me poorly. I felt like some people walked all over me. I felt like I wasn't respected. And... at 12 yesterday afternoon, our power was shut off.
I thought I was going crazy. I kept checking to make sure I paid the bill. I kept checking to make sure it went through. I called Alabama Power and reported it. No one ever called me back. I had since assumed it had been resolved.
Well, after my long day at work, I came home and found my apartment black. There is usually a small glow through the house from tiny lights. The small green lights from a computer. The light from a clock. The glow from the tiny lights on the tv. The tiny microwave lights. Nothing. None of that was on. It was awful. While I wasn't exactly filled with exorbitant amounts of energy, I couldnt go straight to bed. I told someone one day I could live like a farmer. I could get up when the sun came up and go to sleep when the sun went down. Hardly!
I took Joon on a long walk. I had my iPod singing in my ear. And Joon and I went off. As I was coming back up, I had that overwhelming since of sadness. I lit some candles, and I crouched in the corner of my apartment to try and get online with AP again. I was sitting in bed... in the dork. I wanted to read. I wanted to have some sort of light. I flipped out on the phone with Andrew. People lived without power before, but not at 12 at night. Finally someone called me.
I wont go in to detail, but basically, my downstairs neighbors forgot to pay a bill. They were supposed to have their power cut off. Andy called when he found a notice on the door. He told them his power was still on and he had this awful feeling that ours was cut off instead.
Well, in the process of everything getting back on, we discovered that the meters were switched. THAT explains why mine was cut rather than his. Do you know what else this means. It means that for THREE YEARS, I have been paying the wrong bill. It means that for three years, when I was turning off lights, installing solar lights, opening windows instead of using the AC, turning things off night, and just all around conserving, I wasn't getting anything out of it. It means that When there were four boys living underneath me, I was paying their bill. it means that when they didn't have gas, and they were heating their apartment will the OVEN (which runs off electricity) I was paying for it. When they were leaving their lights on... I was paying for it.
Alabama Power claims they are going to do some sort of credit, but honestly, what can they do?
I am so furious.

My dream...

2008-02-29T11:00:00.002-06:00

It is weird how the past week has led me to discover my actual dream.

Through the past week, I have been discussing with countless people about how the world has lost its love and compassion for people. We don't love people any more. We don't offer rides to our brothers and sisters. I will be honest, I didn't want to be part of Christianity anymore. I didn't want to associate myself with a religion that preaches about love but laughs at their neighbor. I didn't want to be a hypocrite. I didn't want people to think I was one of them. I, for a while, had lost all hope in humanity. Christianity, Christ, was about love. Christianity without love is just a theology study. A book club.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. (1 John 4:7-12)

Yeah, we say we care for those who suffer, but do we know about the people suffering down the street from us. Do we understand the concept of homelessness? Do we understand what it is like to be unable to pay bills? How many of us have struggled to make ends meet? I don't. I haven't. I don't even get it. But I will tell you this: I live in the middle of downtown Birmingham. Poverty and homelessness exists not far from my house. I see it. But I fail to understand it. I fail to do anything about it.
Last night, I went to the Tunnel of Oppression at UAB. If you went, I am so glad. If you didn't, I ask you to go next year. It was a phenomenal experience. I think a lot of us know what it is like to be made fun of.
The tunnel went through such groups as international students, poverty, disabilities, LGBT, STI's, addictions, racism, and a room of HOPE. All of these rooms put you in situations that kind of made you feel uncomfortable. They challenged everyone to reflect on their actions. While I cannot say I openly make fun of poor people or homosexuality, I can honestly say that I do not understand it.
So what did all of this, and the past week mean?
Well let me preface it with this. When I lived in Marietta, I used to volunteer at a place called MUST ministries. It was a place that brought in homeless people and gave them an actual place to stay. Sure, there were limited beds, but their goal was not to be a shelter. They wanted to pick people up and give them a means for climbing out of a hole.
When people get so low, they begin to beat themselves down. I want to work to open a place that does this. I want to bring people in and give them clean clothes, fresh meals, job skills, and help them find a job. There are a lot of shelters in Birmingham. And I think they are amazing. But the problem is that after one night, they are back on the street.
So this is my goal: To provide a place for people who need help and refuge.
But I need help. I need people. I need hearts. I need love. All of these politicians are talking about HOPE and CHANGE, but where is it?
So who wants to help me? Clothes? Fresh cooked meals? Beds? Sheets?
I am serious. I am about to email MUST and ask them how they got started. I will open this place. Maybe not in this year, but soon. Love is the only thing that will bring humanity up from out of the ground. Love is the only thing that will clean up a city. Hope is useless without love.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. " - Ghandi

2008-02-05T21:45:00.000-06:00

I am giving up TV for lent. For Many reasons.
I have become incredibly complacent. In life. In work. In friends. I hope to God, this nips it in the butt. I plan on being more proactive. I don't watch a terrible amount of tv, but I have found that I am highly unproductive and not very proactive. This season, I hope to be more so. After reading Tao of Pooh and the section on Bisy Backson, I realized this: I am not one to run around trying to save time. I keep myself busy so that I cannot reflect. This means I don't take much time to keep to myself. I don't take much time to give God. I fill my days with nonsense. The quiet and solitude is alarming and frightening. I cannot stand it.
With Lent, I want to be productive. The season is about giving up or starting up the things that may separate you from God. This is it. I need time and loneliness to just talk with God. I need time to myself to talk to, well, myself.
I have big plans for lent: recycling, a garden, composting, cleaning, reorganizing and alone time.

I challenge all of you to take a look at your life. What keeps you from growing closer to God? What keeps you from growing as an individual?

The answer to these two questions usually go together. And for me, I plan on fixing it for Lent.
God gives us the strength to do so. Give up what is hard. Start what is harder.

Motivational time:
"When we take the time to enjoy our surroundings and appreciate being alive, we find that we have no time to be Bisy Backson's anymore."

Basically, Christ went in to the wilderness after his Baptism. This is when he states that man cannot live in bread alone. Here is why he went in to the Wilderness. This is WHY we give things up for lent...

To be tempted - it seems strange. We pray, "lead us not into temptation" but Jesus knew that that his experience in the wilderness would result in a powerful encounter with the accuser. This is an important point that cannot be ignored. We need to prepare to face and be victorious over whatever would beset us at the end of our own time in the wilderness. Our weapons should be the same as those of our Lord: the Word of God, handled correctly.

To meet with the Father - there were far fewer distractions in the wilderness. It may be worth thinking about this the next time you find yourself metaphorically in the wilerness, stripped of distracting opportunities to minister, you can focus on what really matters.

To prepare for power - without the first two, there would be no point to this final entry. It is after Jesus' baptism and wilderness experience that we see Him exercising real power to turn the world around Him upside-down.

I heart James Lipton

2008-01-24T18:29:00.000-06:00

Ashley is oh so right. I love Inside the Actor's Studio. James Lipton's idea to use Bernard Pivot's Questionnaire is so wise. It is brilliant. It says a lot about people. So i took Ashley's advice and completed it for myself.

What is your favorite word? Phenomenal
What is your least favorite word? Can't
What turns you on? The idea of open minds. I love the picture of friends gathered around, discussing theories, love and life.Throw in some coffee or wine - magic.
What turns you off? ignorance
What sound or noise do you love? Laughter, Pure laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? squeaks or irks from machines. the space heater in the living room makes a creaking noise when it turns all the way to the right. it drives me CRAZY!
What is your favorite curse word? Piss. it makes me feel British. or Damn. I do like damn.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I think I would like to be a teacher... Art or English. I would actually LOVE to work with Special Education Children
What profession would you not like to do? I abhor the idea of being a telemarketer
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "That was soooome ride. Huh?"

I wish you all would do this. And watch the show. It comes on Bravo. Cameron Diaz comes on January 29th at 12 am. you may have to record it. Julia Louis Dryfus and Robin Williams are coming up as well.

Hoorah.

It has been a while

2008-01-24T01:03:00.000-06:00

Wow. So i haven't written in a while. But reading everyone else's blog made me want to write again. I continue to find myself highly introspective. I have been reading Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. It is a phenomenal book. I am thoroughly enjoying it.
I think it has taught me, so far, to stop and listen. It doesn't seem to be an actual theme in the book. I think primarily it is about taking things one step at a time. The father in the book constantly attempts to teach his son things: motorcycle maintenance, stories, theories. I find myself listening more because of this. Not just to my father. But to people. And the outside world. Even with it being so cold outside, I find myself standing outside and listening to the wind. I kind of wonder what it is saying.
It is funny, because I went to see August Rush at the dollar theater tonight. I loved it. The little boy, standing in the midst of New York City chaos, finds himself listening to all of the sounds that surround him. He hears it as music. I wonder if we all took the time to close our eyes and listen to the world around us, what would it say? Perhaps the song you hear is the same as someone else. I do think that nature and music call people and bring them together.
With all this being said, I have felt so spiritual lately. Not necessarily religious, but spiritual. Drew suggested I re-read Busy Backson in the Tao of Pooh. I actually found myself referencing it to Marty. I think he needed to hear it. I think I needed to hear it. I tell myself to listen more. And I know that I do, but I think it is important to remind myself. Between the Tao of Pooh, my current book, and some of my current beliefs, I have myself questioning other things. I find it actually hard to talk about. I have discussed it with a few people.
I think I am lacking a purpose in life. I may be searching for a meaning. I have a relationship with Christ. Even though at this moment I find myself distant from him. I had been looking in other things, not for answers, but satisfaction. I know the word of God is true and applicable. I don't think I can really explain this to anyone. Is it my job to go around saving people? Why do we even use the term save? Non-Christians hate us for that. That gives them the impression that they are doomed. Is it my job to make them believe. Or is it my job to know who Christ was and is and reflect is love on others? Is it my job to tell you're sinning? I think the more important thing is this: Christ led an amazing life. He taught great lessons. maybe we should focus on those.
I stopped going to church for a while. I could stand the hypocrisy anymore. I will say it. I couldn't stand having friends that talked about me behind my back. I didn't like having friends assume I was a bad Christian because of the people I associated with. I won't be a part of a religion like that. I won't do it. I can't.
The Bible teaches amazing lessons. Taoism teaches amazing lessons. I continue to have a personal relationship with God. He knows my hopes and fears. But as for now, I focus on peace and taking things one step at a time. I focus on conservation and the earth. Humanity and joy. Love. Isn't that what Christianity was founded on? Love. Isn't THAT the most prominent word in the Bible? But where is that in our hearts. The slander that exists amongst us disgusts me. The idea that non believers hate Christians because of their hypocrisy bothers me. I just don't like being a part of that. I attempt to be a voice and face of change. But talking about the very people you should be loving is truly awful. Forcing yourself to love them may be worse. Love is not something you cross off your To Do List. Love is a life style.
I finally said it. Maybe it just took some fingers to the keyboard to get it out. I discussed all of this with Andrew before. I just don't think God will hate me for this. I don't think God will disown me for wanting to find peace in my life. I don't think this will affect my faith in God. It is my faith in humanity that is suffering - not my faith in Him.

I went off on one long tangent, didn't I?

I mean, I could have continued about how people who claim to be earth loving, organic using, eco-friendly people aren't doing any good by consistently using bottled water. But that is an entirely different tangent for another day. Maybe tomorrow. haha.

this is for Ashley

2007-10-14T23:47:00.000-05:00

Ashley did this middle name thing. Basically, I have to come up with a word that represents me and give a brief description of why I chose that word. I think this is how it works.

Here goes nothin...

R - Respect?
I try to treat people with the respect that they deserve. I accept people for who they are, and for the most part, I try and let them know that. I find myself rather annoyed when I dont get the respect or dignity that I think I need. We are put on this earth, not to condemn, but to love. I respect the beliefs and lifestyles of others and I love you for who you are.

E - Environmentalist
I know we can all save the environment and I will tell you every chance I get. Whether it has to do with saving on electricity or water, or saving plastic bags and recycling paper... you will hear it from me!

N - "No!"
This word rarely comes out of my mouth. I am so afraid of letting people down and disappointing myself that the word "no" is hardly uttered from my lips. I often know when people are using me and walking all over me, but somehow I cannot confront them about this. Instead, the perception I have of you is forever altered.

E - Extrovert
I thrive off the energy from my surrounding people. I have social anxiety, but I enjoy being in public. I am hardly an introvert. At times you can find me merely sitting in the midst of people... just never a large crowd.

Ok done! I am tagging 2 people just as Ashley did. I say that NYKKI AND CARLA have to do this. HA!

No longer an old fogie...

2007-09-23T23:04:00.000-05:00

Life has been fairly intense lately. I work a lot. And to be quite honest, I have felt like a failure. A lot of people keep asking me what classes i am taking and how can i juggle school and work. I hate telling them that I am not in class right now. I hate telling people I am probably going back in the spring. I really dont know that at all. I dont know anything actually.
I hate feeling as if my world could have been a lot different if I had stayed in GA. Or had I stayed in school. Or gone to Guilford. I am so thankful I have come to Birmingham. I am so blessed with great friends. But honestly, I still wonder. I wont pretend that I dont wonder.
I guess I dont consider myself a failure as much as I am a little disappointed in myself. The other day in starbucks, a friend of mine was telling two people to not worry about their future and their major because I was 22 and STILL didnt know what I wanted to do. I want to be happy. Thats what I want to do. I want to live care free and be happy. I want to take each day by the horns. I want to do the best I can at everything that I put effort towards. Thats my goal in life. It took a lot of guts for me to stop and breathe for a little while. And to be honest, again, I am proud of myself.
I have avoided most situations that result in anxiety attacks. I am avoiding friends and people who cause anxiety attacks. I am living a little more spontaneously and I love it all.

In fact, Marty and Andrew and I took off Thursday night for Marietta. We stayed in a hotel and just lived on the edge for a bit. "This is going to seperate us from being old fogies and young and spontaneous," Marty said. So we did it. We left for Marietta at 10:30 Thursday night and laughed for roughly 24 straight hours. It was remarkable. It was so awesome to see, in front of me, two of my awesome friends. Sure we laughed a lot, but they are highly supportive people and it was so incredible to see that in action.

The support and tangibilty of friendships has been highly present lately. I like it a lot. I like have that blessing of friendship that I can actually see.

So lately, I have been blessed and stressed. I have felt like a failure and succeeded all at the same time. I have gotten the sense of letting myself down. And at the same time. I feel as if I have grown so much as a person.

so tonight...

2007-09-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

was so exhilerating. I do this awful thing where I wait for people to call me. And I think I wait for the people that I want to call to invite me to do something. I think I have been taking friendships for granted. Lately, I have been telling myself that I would not put off friends. I told myself that I would follow through with things. Because of that, tonight was amazing. Nykki and I had dinner at Als. Well, I ate, she watched. We laughed, we talked, we ran some errands. We went to the summit. We went and dropped something off at Marty's. Then, we all decided we wanted Sonic. OMG... it was amazing. We all laughed so much. It just one of those spur of the moment amazing times. And I loved every minute of it. If I have one goal for september... or life in general, it is to live life more freely. take opportunites when they come to pick me up. I am loving life. I am loving my friends. And as time goes on, I slowly remember why I am so hapy to be in Birmingham. A part of me still wants to leave, but a part of me knows how much I want to stay.

Also... on the topic of self discovery, I have decided to compile short excerpts about myself and personal narratives. Dont call it an autobiography. Call it self essays.

2007-08-20T17:42:00.000-05:00

i am so happy. perhaps it is the 300+ mg of caffiene talking. perhaps it is the fact that for the first time in a very long while, i feel totally comfortable with where i am in life. i went to lunch last thursday with a very old friend. she assured me that being anxious about the future is not worthwhile. she assured me that where ever i go, where ever i end up, Christ is already there. i think, inside, i already knew that. but it was nice to hear it. it was nice to feel that sense of comfort.
so i have felt at peace. lately, i have felt as if i may have an anxiety disorder. but now, i don't really feel that. i feel happiness. i feel love. i feel joy. i know that joy is not an emotion. it is a kind of eternal feeling. even with anger and hatred and saddness, joy still exists. and i actually feel that now. it is amazing.
life has been nice for a while. i am content. sarah and i went to see eisley. we went to dinner with my parents. they were remarkable. eisley was remarkable. i bought a bike. it is great. i started a quilt. it is out of ties and some fabric my grandmother gave me.
all in all... i am living every day. i am looking for ways to glorify God. and i am happy!

yesterday was remarkable

2007-08-01T09:48:00.000-05:00

yesterday started with a phone call to my mom. I told her about my anxiety. I told her I needed to see someone. She agrred and said that perhaps I just need to talk to someone. All of my friends claim to be there when I need to talk, but none of them really listen. She made the point that perhas they dont know how to listen or how to respond. So she said she would pull some strings and find someone in Birmingham for me to talk to. I am just so tired of being tense all the time. I have felt like this since October. I am tired of being tired. So I am going to talk to someone and get to the root of this. She also made the point that sometimes I just need to do something for myself. I agreed. I thanked her, said "I love you" and hung up.
I was off to lunch with Nykki and Vic. I kind of ditched them, unintentionally, on Monday. So I agreed to lunch at the HUC. It was so much fun. we started talking about how much we love antiques and I mentioned this awesome Antique shop in Marietta. Vic said, "let's go." We all kind of laughed. It was silent for a little while, then we ran to the car and left. Vic skipped class. Nykki just didnt do a project. And we all got in the car and left.

The excitment died for a moment or two. We had to drop off our cars, get cameras, and make our way to the interstate. When we got on I-20. the adrenaline was back. AHHHH. we were so impulsive. I had not been that impulsive in so long. I needed it.
Vic squealed because there was a motorcycle. He hates them because he is afraid we are going to run it over. He kept making eye contact with Vic. Then... he started doing tricks - on the interstate. Oh my Heavens it was creepy. He would stand up, lie on his stomach. I was afraid for his life. By pell city, we lost him.

Not long after that, we stopped in Anniston to score some caffiene at the Anniston Starbucks. Then... we were on the home stretch to Marietta. I gave Vic and Nykki the tour. I showed them where I live, we drove by my highschool, then we stopped and talked to my mom. We were off to the Antique store. Holy crap - it was gone. We found another, and then we were off to the Avenue. I needed a shirt. Some nasty crap ended up on mine. So we stopped at the GAP. Mom said she would take us to dinner, so we did that.

Then we wanted to go to Lenox mall. We got directions at we were off. Vic and I had to pee like crazy so we found the bathrooms in bloomingdales before we could do anything. We arrived and realized we only had 30 minutes to shop. Every where we went, stores were closed. Vic's heart was broken. I felt so bad. But we laughed a lot and had a lot of fun. Even though there wasnt much shopping.

So we drove around Buckhead for a little while and got back on the interstate. I had to stop at QT and get some gas. I made my dad pay for it because he didnt want to go to dinner with us. jerk. When we finally made our way to the interstate, we approached a dead standstill in traffic. That is when things got exciting. Vic took off his clothes - everything but his underwear. I could not stop laughing. we took so many pictures of vic in his underwear and vic in my jacket. He was going to climb out of the car but there was a woman with a child behind us.

We finally made our way to I-20. Nykki reminded us that we had to stop and get some lotto tickets. I spent 5 bucks on some lotto tickets. I got two tickets and 5 dollars. Ha. then I got nothing. Nykki won some and so did Vic. we cashed in and the guy told us that he had to close down. UGH. So we got BACK on the interstate and drove to a better one. We went all the way down, passed it, and had to drive 8 miles to the next exit, turn around, and drive 8 miles back. It was 11 30 in Birmingham by now, and this was the must exciting 12 hours I have had in a long time. So we stopped at the Shell station and picked up some more. We started with the dollar tickets and we jumped straight in to the 20 dollar tickets. we would win, we would lose, we would convince Nykki to buy more. Vic lost 20 dollars. I only lost ten. Nykki spent a LOT of money, but ended up winning it all back plus 40 dollars. So after an hour in Shell, a picture with the workers, and making Nykki buy us snacks... we were off - for real. We headed the 100 miles home.
We got back to Birmingham about 1:40. This was one of the best days ever. I felt anxious free. I felt ambitious and care free. I needed it and I would not have picked any one else to go with. I would not have changed anything (except maybe an extra hour our so at Lenox) about yesterday. We all learned so much about each other. We shared stories. We laughed. No one cried. And we bonded.

I went to sloss today.

2007-07-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

i have had a lot of built up energy. I went to sloss to break some stuff. I dont know whats wrong. Honestly, I think I have anxiety problems. I think that exlains being tired, tension and the sleep walking. regardless... i went to sloss and took pictures and broke some glass...Sloss is so beautiful.

I think this walk way is gorgeous. I dont know why I like all the pipes and the wooden walk way. But I do.

Will gave me a glass from starbucks that was cracked.

I really did enjoy the day. I still have a lot of anxiousness but I dont know how to get rid of it. I was going to paint on the roof and be destructive, but it is raining so nevermind that. I have been chewing a lot of gum instead.

So much has happened.

2007-07-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in quite some time. A lot has been going on though.

Matt and Carla got married last night and it was the prettiest wedding I have ever been to. Seeing two of your best friends glorifying God was so amazing. Marriage is such a great expression of the Love Christ has for us. I know they love each other so much and their wedding is going to be so blessed. I am so excited for them. When Carla walked down the aisle, matt was glowing. It made me smile. We prayed over the two of them, and that is when I started to cry a little. It was a beautiful wedding. remarkable bride and groom. remarkable wedding.

I am exhausted. I went to bed and woke up at 12:30. Holy crap. I have never slet this much in my life. I really think i may need to get something checked out. i used to sleep 8 hours and wake up. now i sleep 12 hours if i can and want to go back to bed. ugh.

i need some lunch.

2007-07-19T23:36:00.000-05:00

2007-07-17T19:27:00.000-05:00

my new rental car is awesome...

seriously. it is awesome.
all of the rental cars in birmingham are taken. seriously. all they have left is this awesome 2007 Dodge Ram. It may be the biggest car EVER!
It is honestly twice as big as my pathfinder. it could eat c small child OR a car!

look...

i danced a lot.

I hope you know...

2007-07-14T22:22:00.000-05:00

I have had an interesting day. I started with amazing, but then i realized it was just the way i felt right now. Interesting sums up the day. Amazing sums up my attitude as of this moment.
The day started with a text message at 5:20. Sri asked where I was meeting him this morning for work. The parking lot? or the alley next to the store? I told him and sprung out of bed. My alarm did not go off this morning, so I now had ten minutes to get ready and to the store. Apparently Sri forgot it was Saturday and got to the store at 4:55. whoops. I was a little late because I could not find my keys. So we opened up quickly, laughed a lot, and just had a grand ol' time. It was a great day. Positive morale in the morning kind of sets the tone for the rest of the day. Kind of.So Marty, at work, decides that he wants a camera like mine as well. Granted, he has several, and he will probably never touch it after a week. So, I told him that I would go to Best Buy with him and to the Birmingham Museum of Art with him and Megan. Before I could do that, I needed a case for my camera. So I called Andrew and asked him if he wanted to go with me. It took him a long time to call me back but he agreed to do so. I told him I would drive. I didn't know how my wrecked car would handle the rain, but I wanted to know and I wanted someone to be there. I didnt tell him that, I just said I would drive. Well, turns out it doesn't drive well. First, my passenger side door doesnt open. Then, something is rubbing up against the tire and made them lock up. Awesome.
Regardless, I got the case and a new card, and I headed home. In the car, Andrew confessed that he wished he had never stayed this summer. He thinks that he stayed for dumb reasons. While I understnad where he is coming from, at the same time, I kept feeling crappy. I wasnt a reason he stayed. I wasnt a reason he wanted to leave. I was nothing. I didnt plug in to the equation at all. It never crossed his mind. Nothing did. And somehow, that tends to make things worse. When you get your heart hurt but people dont know it. I shouldnt have felt this bad, but I did.
I got home and sulked. Marty made sure I was still coming. The museum was so great.

I enjoyed it tremendously even though Megan and Marty kind of kept wandering off and leaving me. We continued on to Best Buy and to World Market where I got left again. Finally, we made it home.
I wont go in to details, but I was lied to a couple of times. The thing is, I dont really care what you are doing or where you are going. I hate being lied to. More than anything, I hate KNOWING that I am being lied to. Then, on top of that, trying to cover your lie. I would rather you never mention it then to justify or fix your lie. Especially, when it is uneccessary to begin with.
So I sat at home for a while and made some dinner. I ate and just kind of lounged around.
After a while, Jerett and I both got very bored. We kept trying to come up with things to do. Ohio and the beach got ruled out quickly. The Park and Oak Mountain didnt last long. Then Jerett decided on the Cheesecake Factory. Amazing choice I must say. We got there and had to wait for a long time, but we just talked and caught up. All we wanted was cheesecake. Eventually, after maybe 45 minutes to an hour, we were seated.
We decided on our cheesecake and both of us got a drink. It was great. No one ever called and asked us what we were doing. No one seemed to acknowledge the fact that we were gone, but that didnt seem to bother us until it his 10:10 and we had been gone for roughly two and a half hours.
So we made a decision to find new friends. The ones we have now dont seem to match our standards, obviously, so we are working on new ones.

With all that being said, hanging out with Jerett was a lot of fun. Cheesecake was superb. Coffee Kahlua was yummy. And now I feel Amazing

My About Me Book...

2007-07-11T22:02:00.000-05:00

Ashley convinced me to make an About Me Scrapbook kind of thing.
I like it a lot. I tried to branch out and embellish it but I wasnt very successful.

Oh Crappy day...

2007-07-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

this is what my car looks like now. I went to get it check out. They said they couldnt give me an estimate until I knew what the insurance people said. great. I asked the guy if he could just look at it. He said it was probably totaled. YAY! This sucks. I cant drive very far on this car. I doubt I get a new car because the cost of getting a new car is far more than getting it fixed on our own. so piss. I want to say a lot of bad words. just look...

I have a white robe.

2007-07-10T22:42:00.000-05:00

Ashley and I are sitting here discussing the bible. I miss discussions. I think I want to start a in depth study with a few friends. While I love reading myself, i think that often times we learn by feeding off of each other.

I was telling Ashley one of my favorite verses. Revelation 7 paints an amazing picture of heaven. Paul describes the tribes and nations standing before the throne of God singing praises to their savior.

After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures; and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, "Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever Amen."Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, "These who are clothed in the white robes, who are they, and where have they come from?"I said to him, "My lord, you know." And he said to me, "These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. For this reason, they are before the throne of God; and they serve Him day and night in His temple; and He who sits on the throne will spread His tabernacle over them."They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes."

When I first read this passage, I imagined everyone in heaven shouting these words. It sounded beautiful in my head. The only thing that was wrong: It was all in English. When I was in Costa Rica, at church, people were singing praises in Spanish. People were singing praises in English. It sounded chaotic. It sounded glorious. I loved it. That's what heaven will be: A Beautiful Chaos!

I am looking forward to it. As Ashley and I continued to talk about it, she mentioned how God is constant communication with us. I think I forget that sometimes. I think I forget that God is always trying to reach for me. I think I forget to answer when he calls me. Sometimes, I just dont hear my phone ringing. Sometime I know my phone is ringing and I just don't have time. Is it possible that I do the same thing with God. Maybe I just dont make time for God. Why don't I? What is keeping me from the constant communication that I should be striving for? What is keeping me from the worship I could be having?

Do i forget that Christ has washed my robe white? I still struggle with anxiety attacks. I just keep it pretty quiet. But I forget that I don't need to struggle. I forget that God has things worked out for me. While the unknown scares me half to death, I know that everything I do will be for the glory of God. I know that everything I do is to better his kingdom. I know everything i do SHOULD be to better his kingdom. The sun will not beat down on me. That is awesome. So what makes me so anxious. Besides the obvious. What makes me so worried about the unknown. What makes me uneasy with the thought that God knows and I dont.

Perhaps I should tattoo this verse on my wrist. Perhaps I should look at this every day and remind myself that with Christ, I no longer have to be thirsty. I dont have to hunger. The sun doesnt beat down on me. He has washed my robe clean and the tears have been wiped from my eyes. My God is fair and just. And while I struggle like every other human being, maybe I just dont have to do it alone.

A bit of rambling

2007-07-09T22:48:00.000-05:00

Today has definitly been quite an eventful one. It started with delaying my alarm. when it went off the second time, i jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed. I got in my car and forgot that it was so jacked up. I remembered when I went to turn left and my car made a horrendous noise.

work was nice though. Matt is handing over the reigns of his summer success captain hood. So Sri and I had a metting to discuss things. While I love responsibilty, it stresses me out at the same time. I feel like I have so many personal errands I need to run and now I have a lot of work related errands. My wreck kind of ruined things though.

I want to go on a road trip. I know this is random, but I really want to take a few weeks out and just drive. I wish gas wasn't so expensive. But seriously, I think I may take some time out. I want to go up to Seattle and Portland. It is such a perfect time of the year.

look at that. it is amazing.

Andrew and I talked about going on a road trip. He doesnt have time. In reality, I dont really have time either. It is nice to pretend though. I am a pretender.

I think I am going to buy a new camera. Canon PowerShot

See. Look How pretty.
I am just tired of a bulky camera. I think I would take more pictures if I had one for convenience. So seriously, I know it seems follish and a waste, but I may get it soon.

My foot hurts. I think it is a little swollen. I need to go get it checked out again. It was starting to feel okay and then the wreck really hurt it again. Everyone says it isnt swollen, but i think it is. I can't even move my toes very well.

I get to hang out with Dusti tomorrow. I haven't seen her in a while. I do feel awkward sometimes though. Like maybe she is mad because I am such good friends with Carla. I am sure she isn't. Maybe it is self consciousness. Regardless... I have missed her.

lovely.

That is all for right now. Oh... and I think I am going to start my full quilt tomorrow. It is gonna rock!

In the beginnings...

2007-07-08T22:01:00.000-05:00

This is the first post in my new blog. I am pretty excited.
I write a lot, but i rarely write to blog. I guess it is worth a shot.

I might post a few short stories every once and a while. That is, if I don't delete them.
I am pretty excited about this.

I have recently returned from a trip to Costa Rica and I loved it. I don't think people realize how much I want to go back. Honestly, I want to go back for a few months. I developed some great friendships with the people of Costa Rica and some people in the States. I want to start kissing people on the cheek. It's funny. The people don't just kiss the side. They full fledge kiss your cheek. The respect each other so much there. They treat each other like the brothers and sisters we all are. It was just so great to really see the love of Christ shining through people.

Currently, as far as life goes, I am just trying to figure out each individual day. For so long, I have searched for what the future holds. Now, I am really focusing on what today holds. I have thought briefly, about seminary. I don't know if it is a thought that will stick or if it will fade, but regardless, it is there and I accept it. I have also contemplated the idea if creative writing and literature.

The future scares me half to death and having to deal with it is painfully exhausting.
I took a break from school for a while because these decisions were giving me panic attacks. I have gotten a lot better, but I still have them.

I am pretty bad about not sharing my feelings with very many people. This means that it comes out via short stories and prose. This also means that when things are discovered I get hassled about them. I think I just don't want to bother people with my problems. I do have my select friends that I share most everything with. I think my main complaint is that I don't feel the need to call them as soon as something happens. Maybe I should. I do call people with good news. I do call my friends when something funny happens. But, I don't know.

So, that is what I am dealing with. I work a lot. I laugh a lot. I read a lot. I like puzzles. I like crosswords. I like crafts. I like my cat. I like peaches.

that is it for now.